Chioma's Blog

I have two bests. I can’t pick one over the other because they belong in two separate worlds that do not mix. Usually anyway, unless you do workplace romances.

I had to come back and tell you that I think you are gorgeous.

You guys, I know. How is gorgeous the best compliment I have ever received? I’m not ugly. People tell me I’m beautiful all the time, even now that I look all my years, have Oscar-winning hyperpigmentation and have more pounds than are healthy. A fine girl is still a fine girl, to Jesus be our glory. This compliment wins this award because of delivery (I’m blushing all over again) and circumstance.

First of all circumstance; I was not in a good place. I was in that phase where I genuinely didn’t feel good about myself and it extended to how I looked on the outside. Also, beautiful does not have a lot of meaning for me. People throw it around all the time and it is the word I expected this person to use. They didn’t.

Secondly, delivery. We had just finished having this conversation that neither of us wanted to end. They had to leave. They left, as in I saw them drive off with their group kinda left. Then about 10 minutes later, they came back! I was like, “Oh, did you forget something?” and what I got was a compliment that literally stopped me from breathing.

Okay, we’re gonna stop here. No, we didn’t end up together. Sad story but not in a horrible way.

Ah Ah, Emi Oga, I trust you!

Ah, this one scattered my brain like nothing! Again, simple compliment but circumstance! I had just started a new job and my boss was a real high flier. Think Boss Lady Turning Glass Ceilings to Powder. That was my boss and as you can imagine, expectations were high! My first few months, I committed several blunders, sack-worthy blunders, and I was starting to believe that maybe, I was not good enough. In fact, this was close to the time the first compliment story happened, so you get the picture – I was not in a good place.

But somehow, I got better. I got more confident in my abilities to do my job well and I actually did better. Emi Oga is a Yoruba phrase that means Oga’s heartbeat. Oga means boss. At this point, I was so on top of things and people who worked with my boss knew and recognized that as a fact. When I got the compliment, I didn’t know what it meant (I’m not Yoruba) so I needed an explanation. My heart was so warm when this man explained what he meant (the phrase has several uses).

Years after, I would go to visit this boss of mine for some advice on a new job and she would say, Is it not you? I trust you! Ah Ah, small me like this? Stop it, I’m crying! I’m not even joking, when she said it, I started tearing up.

One thing I can tell you is that the compliment doesn’t have to be so big. It can be the smallest, simplest compliment and yet! The right word at the right time can make a significantly huge difference.

Okay, bye,

Chioma, the gorgeous one, lol.